As everyone who has ever taken Basic Spanish 101 knows, there are two forms of addressing other people - the formal and the familiar. It's generally considered good manners to address adults as the more formal "Usted" unless you know them well or they have invited you to use the familiar "tu." As far as I've been able to discern, folks here seem to be very polite in conversation with people they don't know well.

But for somebody who's used to life in the US, Spaniards can seem awfully rude at times - and extremely nice at other times. The seeming rudeness does stem from their culture, according to my Spanish wife and from what little I've read on the subject. It is apparently a part of being Spanish to be self-absorbed or anarchist. A common attitude seems to be "I know there are rules, but they apply to everyone else, not to me." It's also known as the "Viva Yo!" ("Hurray for me!") attitude.

You only have to meet oncoming traffic on a busy sidewalk or on a busy street a couple of times to see what I mean. An American will usually follow common right-of-way rules, but those rules apparently don't exist here. You'll find yourself stepping off into the street to avoid a collision with someone on the sidewalk who is oblivious to your very existence there. If you're driving, you'll dodge cars that cross the centerline, swerve into your lane to avoid an obstacle or pull out of a parking place without regard to traffic. I still find myself muttering expletives when it happens, even though I know it's nothing personal. It's just the "Viva yo" culture at work.

To see another side of Spanish culture, all you have to do is make a personal connection. The guy who ran you off the sidewalk and into the street would, if you asked him for directions, make sure you get where you're going even if he had to postpone his own errands to take you there. And the old cliché " Mi casa es su casa ." really does reflect the hospitality you receive when visiting someone's home.

Among relatives and friends, close or distant, there's an informality that permits spur-of-the-moment visits without invitation or even a call ahead first. Even then, the "visitee" seems genuinely glad to see you and you'd be hard-pressed to leave without having had a snack and maybe some wine. Even though it wasn't my idea to do so, I've been a party to such drop-ins and Marivi tells me that we can expect the same sort of visits when we finally get our house built.